


The Naughty Anders Alphabet

by asrundream



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Alphabet, M/M, Nonsense, Poetry, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-09 22:07:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4365968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asrundream/pseuds/asrundream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anders writes a naughty alphabet poem for Hawke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Naughty Anders Alphabet

**Author's Note:**

> An anon on Tumblr jokingly sent me: And now for an excerpt from the Templar manual: "A is for Abomination---"
> 
> This happened.
> 
> I'm sorry.
> 
> ([Permalink here](http://asrundream.tumblr.com/post/124378955835/and-now-for-an-excerpt-from-the-templar-manual-a).)
> 
> Also available as a podfic thanks to [Kess](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Kess/pseuds/Kess)! Link [here](http://ser-kitten.tumblr.com/post/126128590601/here-we-are-have-a-recorded-version-of-the-sexy).

A’s Abomination, sexy as hell

B is for Bondage, a collar - with bell

C stands for Cats, a mage’s best friend

D is for Dumbass, a Templar-based trend

E for Erection (I’ve got one right now)

F is for Fucking, for which I’ll drop trou

G is for Garrett; my, what a hottie

H is for Hawke, I’m obsessed with his body

I for Imagine: him naked, in bed

J is for Justice, who’s stuck in my head

K stands for Kink, like spanking or choking

L is for Love, the mage rule I’ve broken

M is for Magic, a gift and a curse

N is for Neck Bites - they hurt; I’ve had worse

O is for Orgy (just once, in the Rose)

P for Permission to take off your clothes

Q is for Quickly, how mages get lucky

R is for Rimming, a prelude to fucking

S for Submission, but just on occasion

T is for Toys, for when I'm feeling brazen

U is for Undies, the last thing to go

V's for Vanilla and taking it slow

W for Wanking, it's how I pass time

X doesn't have a good word that'll rhyme

Y is for You looking like a wet dream

Z is - oh fuck this, fuck *me*, 'til I scream.


End file.
